Finally the internet. THough my apartment is totally set up, still we have no internet and it drives me a little insane. I've purchased Dirge of Cerberus and its a little crazy. i have always been bad at first person shooters and here i am trying to play one. BUT ALAS. The innate hottness that it Vincent Valentine won out and here i am. Otherwise the time betwixt now and Monday at 11 Am is to be spent working on collage and art and writing etc. I'm feeling inspired.

Soulless speaking

I hate goodbyes.
Feeling a little broken hearted.

All i can do is write a song for you

R&J 2.2 139
What a mess. I'm sitting at home, mercifully left to my own devices...mourning being the cheifest of those devices. I'm so sad.
I'm listening to Annie Lennox from Rick's heartbreak mix. Anyway.
YCTC went wonderfully. I have never been more happy with any experience. Never more sad to have something end.
I am so proud to have worked with everyone this camp. I learned so much. On a happier note, i had a fabulous
time playing a bad ass JOhn of Lancaster.
I got to stab one of the campers who played a rebel enemy. We were al so excited about it.
I WAS SOOO HAPPY. It was a hard but a fun role. And i got to wear a matrix coat.

But as Rick pointed out to me last night.. which bothered me perhaps a little more than it should have...
"God forbid [you] should be vulnerable ever."
I was a little miffed about this comment.. but only becasue its true. And as he continued to point out to me
Lady Percy scared me shitless. And its the truth. Its easy to appear strong. Not so easy to let that inner fragility show.
Not easy at all. What would i do without someone to call my bluffs ya ?
Honest though, i was terrified. As i usually am of really scalding emotion.
So anyway. I should be writing letters or something...but i am not. I'm sitting here listening to depressing music.
I'm starting costuming for another show soon.. so i'm a little overwhelmed. I just need to rest a little i guess.
Come away, come away, death,
And in sad cypress let me be laid;
Fly away, fly away, breath;
I am slain by a fair cruel maid.
My shroud of white, stuck all with yew,
O prepare it!
My part of death, no one so true
Did share it.

Not a flower, not a flower sweet,
On my black coffin let there be strown;
Not a friend, not a friend greet
My poor corpse, when my bones shall be thrown:
A thousand sighs to save,
Lay me, O where
Sad true lover never find my grave,
To weep there!

I attempt from love sickness

Or rather Home-sickness. I stopped by my house briefly today and realized that i am a little homesick and ready to go home. It has been a long time in developing this homesickness. I haven't "been home" for more than 5 days at a time since Christmas. I don't ever really move in. And then it doesn't help that i have been traversing the globe and that my cell phone broke. But otherwise everything is wonderful. I have been living in days of absolute paradise: dancing and being outside and running around and so much stuff. I am exstatic. But then exhausted too. YcTC is finally starting to wear on mejust a little bit. Just because of the late hours i guess. Omi said to me today that it looked as though i needed about 24 hours of straight sleep. I laughed just a little.

Current projects :
Cd for Rick
Fat suits
Flags
YCTC program


SOOO MUCH AND SOOO LITTLE TIME. Oh well. And of course you see that i am sitting inside a coffee shop updating my blog. My soul has been lifted just a little by the amount of dancing that we have been doing of late. More later.

What a piece of work is man

I'm in a very Jacques-ish mood. For what reason i am not quite sure. I really feel like i need to go and read and write some existential poetry. There is such an exquisite melancholy to be found right now. AND WHY I ask you. Reason flies from me faster than a hart. Nimblefooted and ready to turn and prick.

'Tis a Greek invocation, to call fools into a circle. I'll
go sleep, if I can; if I cannot, I'll rail against all the
first-born of Egypt"