I have been thinking hard about what it means to be alone. To spend time with myself.
Lately in my down time i'm really struggling with just being a vegetable (which after my long work week i tend to need) and actually trying to accomplish things (which tends to just stress me out). And I think the solution may be cultivated alone time. Too often i fall into the trap of wasting hours online or running from place to place. I run from bed in the morning and i run to work and i run to the store and i eat on the run and i do other work on the run.
It has always been a challenge for me to be idle. I work through problems, i work though emotions and i work through fears. The more I'm doing the less i have to think about the things that actually need to be resolved. But that sort of driven work gets so tiring.
Today I slept late and relaxed in bed for a while. Enjoyed watching the morning light play through the slats of my blinds. Read a little over breakfast. Caught up on a show or two that i had missed during the week. I wrote and reflected for a while at the coffee shop down the street from my house. Took some time to enjoy listening to the bubbles of foam on my chai while i sat watching the sun set.
And walked. Walked and walked and just enjoyed the breezy sweater weather of fall and the warm sunlight. It was a slow day. And while i write this I am listening to Chopin and sipping a glass of wine and slowly reading a magazine.
And for the first time in quite a while i have enjoyed my own quiet slow company. And God does that feel good.
What do you do in your alone time?
